Are You Really Ready for Divorce?

Ready for Divorce?

Divorce professionals such as therapists, private investigators, mediators and attorneys often believe that statements such as, “I’ve had it with him.” or “My feelings have died for her,” are indicators that the marriage is over. Attorney’s often equate being hired for their services as an indicator that the couple is ready to divorce. This is not so.

Most couples who begin a divorce are unprepared and are often not even on the same page when they begin. It is this lack of preparedness and readiness for a divorce that either causes marriages to end prematurely or divorces to deteriorate into competitive contests. The decision to obtain a divorce is one of the most crucial decisions a person can make with consequences that last for years or a lifetime. A decision this important requires much greater attention than it is usually given by both couples and professionals.

No matter how you slice it, divorce is expensive and time consuming. The most important variable is how well you and your spouse are able to put aside your anger and grief and cooperate on the big issues of money and children. The better you are at working together to make decisions for your changing family structure, the better for your bank account and for your chances of emerging from the divorce with a decent relationship with your ex.

Divorces can be complex or very simple

Although divorce is common throughout the United States, the divorce process varies depending on the couple’s situation. Short-term marriages without children or property typically result in a less complex and time-consuming divorce than long-term marriages with significant property entanglements, marital debt, and minor children. Additionally, divorcing couples who work together to negotiate the terms of the divorce (child custody, child support, property division, debt allocation, and spousal support) will experience a less expensive and less stressful divorce than couples who can’t agree or refuse to work together.

Grounds for divorce vary from state-to-state. However, all states offer divorcing couples the option to file a no-fault divorce. No-fault divorce is a streamlined process that allows spouses to file a divorce petition without listing a specific reason or placing blame on either spouse. If your spouse committed marital misconduct or caused the breakup, some states allow parties to claim “fault” for the divorce, like adultery or neglect. If you’re unsure whether you should file a no-fault or fault divorce, contact an experienced family law attorney in your state for guidance.

What about collaborative divorce?

Collaborative divorce frequently involves other professionals who work with the attorneys in the collaborative process. Here are some of the team members who might be involved in a collaborative divorce. You won’t always use all of them—you and your attorney can pick and choose based on the facts of your case and your needs. In general, your collaborative attorney will refer you to certain professionals in each field who are familiar with the collaborative process and can work effectively with the attorneys and other professionals.


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